I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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