i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize