my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
