fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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