what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
she told me i tasted like america
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
