I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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