I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
