so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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