I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize