just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Semen is not good for contacts.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
