He is an equal opportunity slut.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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