we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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