I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
