Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
