Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
