haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
