I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
