those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
