The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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