We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize