Sponge bath it is.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
one might say we're banned from that church
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
