Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
