also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize
