This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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