i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
