Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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