i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
