oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
