what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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