is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
