Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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