I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize