I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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