it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
