i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
