the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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