her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
