I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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