I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
