I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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