I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
