you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
