Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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