Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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