It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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