so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
