I swear she didn't look like that last week.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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