is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
