She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just gargled with NyQuil
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
