Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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