Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
