how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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