Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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