Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize