You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
