Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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