He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
