i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
