Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
