I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
We're too hungover to prance.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
